The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
