my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
