i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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