went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
