Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Holy shit dude........stairs
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