dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
