Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i came on her dog
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
