So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
