I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
