i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
