why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
