He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
