OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
