Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
