I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
