Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
