We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
