Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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