A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
