God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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