before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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