i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
