You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
false alarm, still single
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
