had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
