Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hippo gnu deer
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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