I'm laying in your front yard are you home
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
ok first of all what the fuck
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
