Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
