what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
