Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
