What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
