he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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