and you said cock pushups were impossible
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
