Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize