Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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