So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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