that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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