I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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