i would punch a child for taco bell
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
