Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
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