There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
