Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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