Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
