i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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