babies were throwing up all over the place
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Randomize
