she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
