He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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