I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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