i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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