I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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