Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
